Thank God For The Internet!

So much has happened and really not much new at all? Surprise?

Well, I am making the tough decisions now. I know for certain that I must get away from MON, and too, away from Mom. Whatever is her damage, it seems to be progressing rapidly, and there is only so much help you can attempt to force upon someone who does not want to take help from you at all. I have had it! Finished. Her put downs have become even more frequent throughout any given day that we are in each other's company. When I come to visit her place - usually 2 weeks to half a month - it is a most trying time for me. But so is the loneliness and despair of living at my noisy and solitary basement apartment in the city. All of this would have to finally take its toll on me eventually, and now I know whatever it is I will have to do, I MUST get as much money together as possible and leave here, leave mom and her totally disrespectful attitude towards me? What the hell did I EVER do to my own mother to make her treat me so so badly? Not living the life she would have me lead? Is that a justifiable reason to verbally torture ones son, or anyone for that matter? I plan to leave, whenever that lucky day will be, without telling my family where it is that I am going ... a sudden, "he's no longer there; where did he go off to?" thing. I think it is most fitting and unfortunately most necessary. My family does not really seem to care for me that much at all. So why bother with being fake? I just need to MOVE ON. Too bad it will take somewhat of a while to devise a strategy to get this going.

I do not even know if I can aptly describe how badly mom's treatment of me has become. The only ones who have been there to help me through it are my online friends, my IM buds and chatroom mates. Thank God for the Internet, indeed!!!!