The Eleventh Hour

My life is such shyte. I don't know where to begin. To what? Fix it? That's a laugh ... I just do not know anymore ... I am 42 years old now and I am not getting anywhere ... I cannot get a job when I am healthy enough to do one and I seem perpetually stuck here in NS. It truly feels like punishment from life. Halloween? Ha ha ha. Just another day, another night in. I am at mom's one more night, and things have not been going well this visit at all. Especially since last night, when she struggled with entering her Avon order online from 10:30pm to like around 3am; I struggled with trying to watch "ER" and "Eleventh Hour" and "Life on Mars" amidst constant interruption. I used to do the inputting of the orders for mom at the beginning for a few months, but I believe she needs to learn how to do it herself, and I have taken the time to teach her how it works but she cannot remember things well (and that's an understatement). So I did try and see what she was up to during the commercial breaks, and her constant thinking aloud, distressed, did not help me in following the storylines to the tv programs. I swear, the last ten minutes of each show, where the drama usually swells, was when she would freak out the loudest or longest. She does not seem to have a mind for the pc, and I do find making such a statement difficult. I would like to believe everyone can learn, to a degree. But I have to face it, mom is a very unusual person and being around her is just a drag down for me. I should have gone home earlier as I was once going to do. Now we're barely talking civilly; I'm more perplexed by her, and even though I suggested maybe we go to the drugstore, or grocery store, that idea went straight to hell when some cousin called about her Avon order and came over with another cousin and proceeded to chat QUITE LOUDLY with or is it "to" mom in the kitchen area while I waited for the pc to reboot and do scan for bad sectors. They were here for almost an hour, talking about womens "issues" not knowing I was here, since mom treats me like her "dirty little secret" sometimes, and so now it's too late to go out, just to get out of the house. But mom IS trying to "nudge" me into ordering delivery, on my dime (!!! this is the NuMom!); she's all about money now. The other night she started something about how much food I eat (!!!!! yes, it has finally sunken to that level)! If you cannot go to your parents' and feel secure and "friendly with the fridge" etc ...where can you? I don't mind helping mom, after all, that is the reason I have been coming out here in part, but she's getting very petty. My sister has noticed it too. Helping where I can financially, which is almost NEVER is one thing, but being EXPECTED to that is quite another thing.

I am feeling extremely depressed, having back discomfort, lonely, and confused right now. Oh, and very hungry. But mom knows I do not have the kind of money to splurge on delivery all the time. Maybe she'll get humane again and go dutch?

Dee Dee Warwick ~ Bye Bye Dee Dee

Soul singer Dee Dee Warwick dies at 63

SOUTH ORANGE, New Jersey (AP) -- Dee Dee Warwick, a noted soul singer who won recognition for both her solo work and her performances with her older sister Dionne Warwick, has died. She was 63.

Dee Dee Warwick was the niece of gospel singer Cissy Houston and a cousin of pop star Whitney Houston.

Warwick died Saturday at a nursing home in Essex County, New Jersey, said family spokesman Kevin Sasaki. He said she had been in failing health in recent months and that her sister was with her when she died.

Warwick had several hits on the soul and R&B charts in the 1960s and '70s, including "Foolish Fool, "She Didn't Know (She Kept on Talking)" and a version of "I'm Gonna Make You Love Me" that was later covered by Diana Ross and The Supremes.

Warwick also was a two-time Grammy Award nominee and sang backup for Aretha Franklin, Wilson Pickett and others before starting her solo career.

A member of a musical family, Warwick was the niece of noted gospel singer Cissy Houston and a cousin of pop star Whitney Houston. (from CNN.net)

What is weird about this for me mostly, is that just this weekend I was randomly downloading some "old skool" soul/R&B music and when browsing and searching cane across Dee Dee Warwick's name and some of her catalogue. Now I had known of her, of course, but never really knew the music, just that she had done the original version of the tune "Foolish Fool", which Chaka Khan recorded on her most recent Grammy-winning CD, Funk This! I had no Idea at all when downloading two other Dee Dee Warwick songs that she had recently passed away. Did not know of this until finally getting around to watching an episode of ABC's The View, where it was mentioned that she, Levi Stubs (The Four Tops), and Mr. Blackwell, fashion critic had all passed of late!